What if We Gave it Away?

Dear Consuming Congregation:

I’ve been rethinking how we deliver content on Sunday mornings to meet modern attention spans. One concept would be that we would serve donuts and coffee, but after every few sips of coffee, a tiny lid would cover the cup until you listened to two minutes of a sermon; then the lid would open again so you could sip more coffee.

We could also interrupt the last line of a favorite hymn, forcing you to listen to another minute of a sermon before playing the resolving phrase.

Speaking of hymns, I’m going to talk to Doug, who prepares our worship slides, about getting sponsorships for each slide projected in the margins. The synergy of this idea is great. Imagine singing “Go to Dark Gethsemane” with a banner ad for a travel agency.

I’m also thinking about writing much longer sermons, the content of which would explain how great the sermon is going to be, but before we get to the actual sermon, several people would offer testimonials as to how the yet-to-be-revealed sermon changed their lives. I would then explain that the actual sermon will be delivered in the Parlor after the service. As people head to the Parlor, the doors would be replaced with something called a paywall—I’ll talk with the Property Committee about buying one of those. 

Another idea would be to use our radio transmitter (we bought one for outdoor worship services during the pandemic). Ushers would block parking spaces until you listened to part of a sermon on your car radio. Then after the clip completed, they would remove traffic cones so you could pull in.

I’ve also thought we could treat the Sanctuary like a giant puzzle room. Before the benediction, we would lock the doors, and the congregation would collectively have to answer several questions about the worship service’s content before the doors would be unlocked. For each correct answer, the congregation could vote as to which parents would receive a token to claim their child from the nursery. This idea needs some of the details worked out, because we don’t want to have children here all week when there are no right answers.

My other idea was to open the doors about an hour before worship and just let anybody who wants to come in. Ushers could give them programs for the service and let them sit wherever they want. Very young children would be welcome to the Nursery or Preschool where very kind adults would watch and play with them. We would also have children join in the front for a few minutes of conversation targeted just for them. If they wanted to stay with their families, they could, or we would have volunteers prepare lessons and activities for those who wished to use free craft materials and watch videos. Meanwhile, the rest of us would stay in the Sanctuary, sing songs, offer prayers, hear some readings and reflections. Before going home, people could optionally leave some money, without any pressure, to cover the costs of the whole operation. Everybody would be invited back during the week to share concerns, enjoy a book club, participate in conversation groups, luncheons, music practice, prayer time and any other events or ideas folks could design. Some ideas in the works would include... A group could contact individuals and families to see if they needed prayer or connection, and could also send cards and drop off gifts now and then to people who are stuck at home. Occasionally we could have volunteers help with morning kids' programs for a week in the summer. Or every week on Sunday evenings there could be classes for middle school-aged kids who are interested in talking about faith, or gatherings for high school youth interested in ideas and learning to care about one another; maybe they could even leave the state once a year with some volunteer chaperones to help an organization working with the homeless or sponsoring inner city youth programs. We could have a sewing group to make quilts for people moving into their first apartment after being homeless, a crocheting club to make lap blankets for people to feel remembered while they struggle with infirmity or illness, a garden team to grow food we can give away, occasional fix-it trips to do repairs for people who cannot afford outside workers, an international travel program to install filtration systems in communities without clean water, etc. We’d then start off the next week by inviting everyone back to do it all again, without charge. You cannot believe how hard the marketing representative laughed when I shared this idea. 

Musing over ways to make things more relevant, I remain,

With Love,
Jonathan Krogh
Your Pastor